A film crew goes looking for adventure, finds a giant ape, and immediately says, “Let’s bring him to New York—this won’t end badly at all.” Kong falls hard for Fay Wray, fights dinosaurs like it’s a full-time job, and eventually climbs the Empire State Building because apparently that’s just what giant apes do when they’re stressed. Final verdict: Terrible planning, incredible stop-motion, and one very misunderstood ape who deserved a better vacation. Go to Review

Mulder is convinced aliens are everywhere, Scully is trying to keep things scientific, and somehow they both end up chasing bees, conspiracies, and a giant alien spaceship under the ice. Final verdict: Paranoia, romance, and government secrets… plus bees. Lots of bees. Go to Review

An oil company finds a giant ape and thinks, “Let’s bring it to New York—great idea.” Kong falls for Jessica Lange, the humans make nonstop bad decisions, and he ends up climbing the Twin Towers to file a complaint about his trip. Messy, ridiculous, and somehow still fun. Go to Review